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Once Upon A Raven's Crest
Once upon a raven's crest, My head did surely rest While its blood slowly dried on my chest. She brushed her wing across my face To thank me for this shadowed place. Oh, what a deviantly blissful taste! Like all birds, this raven did depart, Taking with it a piece of my heart; But in all ends, a new course may start. Labels: literature, poem O, poetry, Skot Farewells To A Pale Night Beauty A night of regal majesty And pride Opens wide A door of ancient memory. I recall patterns and feelings Too abstract To project Into sounds and imaginings. Conquests and victories Run aside Visions astride O'er passions and midnight regencies. Bare deep into the night, Beautiful wraithchild, And give your flesh up Not but to whom You choose to be Master. Labels: literature, poem F, poetry, Skot Transformation Act One: To Cross Da'at Canto I. A breeze with the smell of rain passes my breath. My mind relaxes, giving way to instinct. I close my eyes to feel the unseen breadth. There is a calling in my cells quite distinct. It reaches out from the void to brush my heart. I welcome all of its expanse within me succinct. This is where my passion will start. Here is where I am my true self. This is how my restraint may come apart. I am of the living, unseen sea behind the shelf Of all commonly perceived reform. I am manifest to flesh and wandering amongst myself. Passion moves this vital storm. Infinite and powerful passion gives my will form. Canto II. Alone, my thoughts writhe in darkness. They slither and twist amidst immutable shadow. The split, twist, intertwine and coalesce. I journey on this path to know. It is easier to feel than to see. I take careful steps and observe below. I can hear the trickle of passing absurdity; Something beneath me faintly seems to laugh. But I have set my eyes before me. Ahead of me lies my path; So thus I walk forward from wrath. Canto III. I am crossing Da'at over the abyss; You must be Coronzon. You stand before me, daemon, enraptured in twisted bliss. So strong is your dark passion. I am moved by the purity within your source. I am honored that you are what I stumbled upon. You are an impassioned force. Am I to face you to push onward? Such confrontation is only a matter of course. The way past you is barred. There is no use for me to agitate. Should I now drop the whole of my guard? With a simple caress, you show me the gate. There I will find my self prostrate. Canto IV. Before I can face the daemon, I must face my self. I stare then down into the abyss. My reflection is there, ever so dark and without shelf. I face my reflection; the other side of me is amiss. I've become unbalanced with an internal insurrection. This figure now risen is my own darkness. I stand against myself and kill my reflection. I eat my still beating heart and become one. But then you say it is not enough, with lustful inflection. I must know my self undone. I must venture into the very abyss. I must become its pulsing archon. You seethe with such a forceful hiss. And with that, I dive into the abyss. Canto V. There are eyes in the shadows. They see all; they see you join my fray. They know of the sacred death throes. Eyes in the shadows, I say; They watch you too! The eyes know all and they know the way. You, in this ebb and flux, come too. You guide me on the currents. You illuminate the way we must go through. This sea must be explored with no pretense. My dear shadow, feel relief. There is nothing in existence more intense. We now see what the eyes see, There is no difference between the world and this sea. Canto VI. And so, daemon who leads me before The abyss, are you Cacodaemon or Agathodaemon? I think you are both, neither and much more. We ride this vast sea upon The living universe. We ride this current together, Coronzon. There is, within this, both blessing and curse. It is pain and pleasure; dead and alive. It is clean and profane; pure and perverse. In this, I finally feel so very alive. I close in towards the sum. From this, I now open my being and revive. All hindrances now come undone. I am now myself and I am one! Act Two: Stretched Across An Abyss Canto I. Stretched across an abyss, My many forms dissent and split. The screams are a melodic dissonance, Both perfect and skewed. Manifestation becomes the abstraction without; Infestations of malice seethe within. I need not a guide here, but a grounding. Invoke me, by the living universe! I am destroying my self to be renewed. Canto II. So many points of light and shade Pull at my realms ferociously; I am blinded and unmade. I must save my self from entropy. I wrap myself in impenetrable shadow; I do all I can to avoid atrophy. My mind squirms ever so low. In this state of emotional isolation, I murmur in feverish, obscene canto. My chants slither into sweet desolation. My subtle shape shifts and, Forming a crescendo of vile incantation, I am become the beast of the wasteland. I am become the wrath which will forever expand. Canto III. Centered... A paragon of shadow remains, Spherical and glowing with black light. Distilled... The pieces they ripped from me are shed; I sacrificed my self to my self. Dormant... I am silent and still. I gestate and recreate. Canto IV. All things weak and frail are excluded. The mundane and petty are cast off. What is crucial to the core merges. Strength mighty, true and immutable, Honor pure and just beyond all doubt; They are become one with my being. The ebb within its eternal pull, The flux within its eternal push; They are become one with my being. The sacred currents that flow within, The divine ways unseen by the blind; They are become one with my being. The unquestionable firmament, In all of its perfected glory, It is become as one with my self. Within this spinning abyss, I pulse. Canto V. There is a spark in the heart of the sphere. The spark grows into a flicker. There is no feeling here, no anger. A flame of pure black gleans shear. There is no emotion yet, no warm heart. There has not yet been made fear. But so grows the gift the flame will impart. It consumes the sphere in black fire; The sphere begins to come apart. This melting womb lies in an amorphous pyre. No longer is the womb needed to adorn. All that contained the flame is afire. A shadow swells out and takes solid form. I open my eyes and take breathe reborn. Canto VI. I am reborn. I will myself into existence. I manifest my kingdom before me. I am beyond scorn. I will my ways into abundance. I manifest my world upon the sea. All that I was is torn. All that I willed became the expanse. All that I created was destroyed. I awaken; I arise. Act Three: From The Currents Canto I. I rise up from the abyss, One and reborn. I am made of its waters, Fueled by its fires, Grounded by its rock, And I breathe of its air. It is the life of the universe. Its pulse is my pulse; Its breath is my breath. I rise with its flux; I fall with its ebb. In every moment, I sway in its current. I am but a point of focus In its encompassing plane. Emergence is smooth. I am a daimon and demigod. I will manifest my world. I bestow my self upon existence. Through awareness and wisdom, With strength and honor, I am. Canto II. Terra forming a desolate mind, Abominations come forth To test and judge my worth. I stand against the fire's girth And weather the wind's might. Through attrition I gain sight. Temptation falls before my black light. I am steadfast with my kind; I am resolute upon this flight. Weaknesses are felled in my wake. I have become. I am awakened. Canto III. I am rising up toward the surface From the depths to awakened Awareness. My spirit is without malaise. My eyes have opened. I see a brilliant light cradling a visage Of darkness to which I am likened. The air smells of cedar and sage. Here the living universe gives birth. I have not felt such power in an age. A rumble passes through the earth. The winds prepare to dive. A storm on the horizon gains girth. This place in my mind comes alive. As I draw breath, the currents thrive. Canto IV. I am returning now; The bull of the earth grounds me. I emerge from my sub-conscious; The common reality forms before me. I have merged with my self; All that has occurred merely strengthened me. I am reconfigured and refreshed. Canto V. Within darkness, there may be honor. The dark requires strength. Within shadow, the weak are brought low. The dark enslaves their bodies and dements their minds. Within the abyss, only the worthy may pass. The waters drown the useless to servitude. The worthy will float. Canto VI. I come through to the crown one and whole. The abzu flows within me. I am. Labels: literature, poem T, poetry, Skot Threshold Scratching at the threshold of imagination and memory, I scream through waves of loss and decay. Despite everything I've gained, I still mourn all I've lost. I miss the pieces of me I left behind. I grow older and the world changes but my mind cannot let go. I cannot let go of my favorite self. If I cling to it so sharply and beyond my control, can it truly be dead? Am I not recoverable unto my self? Perhaps age just gives in to insanity. Carry me through. Show me what I must do. Integration assimilation amalgamation dissipation mutilation conclusion. Dissipation. I invoke you. I call to you from the other side of reality. I call out to you. Hear me scream your nameless call. Tear through the veil of disassociation and make me whole. Make me whole. Labels: literature, poem T, poetry, Skot Swirling Pools of Chaos Swirling pools of chaos polarizing one another, riding opposite ends of the same current, each embedded in their own vital existence, manifesting that which is unseen. We are tributaries to the same sacred river. We are conduits. We are receptors. We are capacitors. We receive and route. We store and release. We manifest. This current we ride upon and writhe within fuels us forward and gives us the means to express our collective fire. It is angled and structured, the flash of lightning; It is fluid and formless, the unfathomable abyss. We are the ones who may call it forth it flows in our veins and we shape it. We are the ones who put form to formless and make visible that which is not. We are the illuminators and the illumination. We are the blessed of Prometheus and the sacred flame itself. Los artistas verdaderos, our minds set apart from the rest; we are as swirling pools of chaos. Labels: literature, poem S, poetry, Skot Spiritvs My spirit stirs; Brimming with life, it quakes. My soul is the sea below all seas; It is the current behind all currents. Beneath and behind the mundane existence Lives waves of energy Dancing to their own rhythms. My spirit dances amongst them; As one of them, it moves with The ebb and flux of the universe. I dream along its sacred pulse. I dream along the divine currents. I drift in and out with its tides, Gently rocking me In the exalted, numinous slumber. Labels: literature, poem S, poetry, Skot Ravensblood Eleven years of defiling; I almost forgot my corrupter. Her pale white arms striped in red, pouring a deep red wine just for me. Never before had I tasted such an intoxicant. It inebriated me with a sadistic lust; it was then that I awoke. I've tried to fill the void since with everything I can consume. I've fucked and eaten; I've escaped and drowned. In the end, there is still void. Who will bleed for me? I miss painting in blood. Ravensblood had the nicest shade drying on my skin, mixed with spit and sweat; it set the stage. I have a fetish. How do I ask you? It is not you. I can only dream a memory; the taste of Ravensblood drying on our skin as we lie in our own inferno someplace dark, deep in the back of my mind forever. Labels: literature, poem R, poetry, Skot Neo-Enochian Rite of The Dragon Mind This rite is intended to call forward the reptilian brain aspect of our mind [link] for either examination or heightened sensory awareness and impulse response. This has been written using John Dee and Edward Kelley's Enochian language [link]. Warning: this will likely reduce inhibitions. Light your candles; initiate your music. Cleanse ancd prepare your space as is your custom. Set up a notebook and a pen on your altar or ritual space for any trance writing/drawing. Close your eyes and take several deep breaths to focus yourself. Put yourself in your 'ritual-mind'. Ring a bell, gong or loudly clap to mark a sudden beginning. Open your eyes and recite the first invocation: (To the East...) IAD IAD OL ZONG TORZU (To the South...) IAD IAD OL MALPIRG TORZU (To the West...) IAD IAD OL ZIN TORZU (To the North...) IAD IAD OL CAOSGA TORZU Burn your Dragon's Blood (or alternate choice) incense, take a deep breath, and recite three times: ZIR VOVINA IO-IAD CORAXO BI-EN TRIAN TORZUL DARSAR DOSIG I CICLES ZIRDO V GRAA ANANAEL APILA PAR CNILA I PANPIR Breathe deep, seven seconds to inhale. Then, low pitched, vibrate, "ur," with your exhalation. Hold for seven seconds. Inhale deeply for seven seconds. Then, low pitched as well, vibrate, "om," with your exhalation. Hold for seven seconds. Repeat this cycle until you feel completely relaxed and your focus is sharp. Once all is charged, recite this mantra in a rythm that feels primal to you. Keep repeating until it is vibrating in your body and it is all you are aware of. Mantra: ZIR VOVINA IO-IAD What follows is up to your Dragon-Mind. It could be dangerous; it could be benign. There is no way to tell before hand. When you come out of it, you may wish to use a sharp, sudden and loud noise to clear the air. The Discordian method of banishing with laughter may be effective. Enjoy. Zi-Zi Anunnaki Kanpa Labels: literature, occult, Skot shattered heart, tattered dress a shattered heart in a tattered dress spilling over to me like a fucking mess. someone caught an eye, but its like the tension before a trainwreck. you're an archetype, not a girl in flesh. i dreamed you last night, so that today i could obsess over fiction and fantasy. a necessary distraction from my current complacency. yeah, i'd love to fuck you. i'd love to spend a month crashing at your place, getting hammered to music we love, recklessly throwing our bottles out your window at strangers, moshing in your living room, and carelesly screwing until dawn... but you were just a brief dream before my alarm woke me up. just a glimpse of another reality somewhere far, far away. whoever you are, i hope we had fun. Labels: literature, poem S, poetry, Skot Reborn In Divine Maleficia Part I. "Her" O' she knelt there in the snow, Her slender form so ever still. Her skin was as the light of The moon, a sure pale blue. Her hair was a straight raven Flowing down her body, And she looked as if the very Wind would take her in its bite. I approached her with care and Grace to sanctify the moment. She slowly turned her head With the slightest of gasps, And her eyes looked upon me as They drowned in melancholy. She knew what I came for, and I Think now that she rather found me. The moon was so bright that night That even the sharp contrast of Crimson could not tarnish its pure Perfection of light upon the snow. I dare say even the sounds of her screaming could not pierce it. When I picture her I think, if I Had known her, I would have loved Her. Labels: literature, poem R, poetry, Skot Phoenix While my heart, my soul remain deep dusk blue, my passion is lit aflame and warmed red by your fire. rise from your ashes consume my world. purification by fire. red plumed bird: burn me. ignite. we are as inferno. Labels: literature, poem P, poetry, Skot O' Automne O' year, You do grow old tonight. Did you live your life well? Were the days fruitful; Were the nights indulgent? Did your months carry you across pleasingly? O' year, set now your world afire! O' shadows, Wake up, wake up, wake up! Ne'er shall the sun burn 'til long past year's end. For long nights and Spectred frights, I yearn. O' shadows, creep out from your little nooks! O' Autumn! O' Automne! O' Autumnus! You always set in wakingly, My heart in your grasp. Come once more, season of the harvest, Come once more! Labels: literature, poem O, poetry, Skot Novem ex Fata There is a tale once told among Roma's legions of old, borne of their ventures to the west. It speaks of nights without rest, a great maelstrom of fear, and not one mind clear. A company made camp in a grove chilled and damp where locals refused to go. But how could they know? After three unspeakable nights, those who has not embraced death in fright went in search of telling lore to explain what had come forth. Nine lights, they heard; nine lights to be one shadow. Once of Fey; now of darkness. Novem ex fata, they called her. Where once were nine lights, now moves one shadow. She dances like a serpent coiling in upon itself; swimming in darkness... novem ex fata lux est umbra Nine faery cast aside their light and shed their wings to embrace the writhing night. and the song it sings. They danced together, no longer of fey. They moved together, like frenzied Bacchae, and came together, no longer of fey. They moved and flowed about until they merged within and without as one. She is a wraith of nine; a wraith of nine once fey. Novem ex fata, they call her. Labels: literature, poem N, poetry, Skot My Dark Covet I. The Shadows Within You the dark, my only reprieve and fear but fear lies in the unknown and the darkness is my home i feel within you that darkness so very strong infinitely mighty elegance i see when i look into you i feel comfort and myself i can feel my own strength you are my mirror yet quite different you desire, your passion it permeates my being i lie here in comfort railing through conceptions of you in my mind every bit of your being i feel every bit of your soul i know cold like ice hot like fire purity the shadows i thrive in they protect me they comfort me they enrage me they calm me the focus me they make my mind run wild and in you i see that very darkness II. Forbidden Physical Pull the very essence of your physical being pulls me in at every quarter the scent... my olfactory nerves run wild the site... my muscles tense and i am sucked into a torn oblivion i can feel you upon me animal drives screaming at me to just let go and fall into your abyss of lust with such grace do you move subtle movements at time and direct sudden at others the perfect blend of darkness and grace every movement every breath everything you do pulls me further in until it's all i think about and you consume me mind, body, and soul III. Distress And Finality such distress this can cause on both ends on all ends perfection at a price too high the risk too high the consequence... so strong too strong to be fleeting daydream nightdream ponder contemplate close you are kept at arm's length just a bit closer and i will crumble under the weight of temptation a covet it shall be a reality it shall not forever you shall be my dark covet. Labels: literature, poem M, poetry, Skot mechanic.rites sephira. seraphim. acceleration, clouds. overhead. integration, earth. quake. amalgamation, suffer. take. emulation,,, a past comes forward into a world of spinning electrons. abyss. void. progression, life. spirit. segregation, moon. sky. anomalization, taken. forward. immolation,,, as above, so below, as before, so to come. a degradation of segregation, past and future come together. a mutilation of emulation, severed separation concludes evolution. the rites of machination. Labels: literature, poem M, poetry, Skot Maleficia: A Descendant Inclination On The Path of Venus I. Noir the night screams like a mortuary cat in heat cold, stiff, vying for the touch of dead lust as i stalk through the darkness i hear a whisper the cold winds telling me of porcelain prey II. Pale Disgrace ebon-haired and powdered skin she was graceful and lonely a true necromantic searching for her final suitor "follow me to my final resting place," she whispered ever so lightly... "deep and dark, leave your mark," she moaned as if to frighten me... but no, alas, i cannot turn away, this swell of disgrace borne within. i must take in this seasoned prey, put at ease her twitch for final sin. III. Whore In Horror she prepared her chamber, the walls glowed of amber ridden with flickering flames dancing upon black pillars of wax infested with the sweet air of sandalwood, rose, and sage blackened curtains hide what lies within her stained sheets from many greets cum for final sin the first becomes the last original all too final writhing for great Bast undressed in her wine hall "I shall come unto thee with sinful intent and give thee many treasures, take what my flesh has left and give me sleep eternal." serpentine madness filled her flesh as she writhed, felating and baiting her death she closed her eyes and knew her time was near when i spilled my seed deep inside her her chest rose high as i approached her thigh, quick gasp of anticipation. she bit her lip from whence blood will drip, at the cervical penetration. gripping black sheets screaming loud shrieks, her end came soon after elation. wrapped in hell she lost consciousness and fell, into lustful malicious sedation. the girl came quick, impaled and licked. indulging when i tore apart, at the beating of her heart. this malefick trick, a cervical prick, she never fought, craving a taught... rope around her neck! IV. Eternal Sleep the darkness fades in like a falling blanket her pale face dimming forth off-white to blue like a fading star dwindling in a lonely night her eyes die, losing all signs of life lying gracefully on her last bed the stone altar she has taken as home to be there forever posed for eternity she found her beauty in her final rest her vessel once porcelain perfect beauty now chipping away piece by piece blue fades to dark as the cold caresses her her rest most peaceful... calm... serene still graceful in pose, she lies in darkness aging bones splinter, crack, and weaken hanging arms reach down... reaching... reaching for the home of beloved ancestors long lost to her she found beauty in her final rest she blessed eternity in this cold rest Labels: literature, poem M, poetry, Skot Love And Rebirth why do i long the death of every woman i love? to love me is death. am i death? no. i merely must require rebirth. a woman born anew becomes my true partner. in the flicker of a flame, you are revealed. from the void of night, you do emerge. i never know whether to slay you or love you. the moon lights your face. should i kill you or love you? they are both the same. from my love will come pain, blood, anguish, despair, death and rebirth. i will reach into your mind and slay you from the inside out. this death is not the end... merely the beginning. i will grasp ahold of you, if you come to me. i will penetrate your mind, if you come to me. i will feed on your dreams, if you come to me. i will raise all of your pain, if you come to me. i will devour your spirit, if you come to me. i will bleed you into me, if you come to me. i will end your life, if you come to me. i will destroy all you are, if you come to me. but i will make you reborn, and you will come from me. when i feel your internal death at the hands of my love, i grow sad... i mourn you. i fear what you may become. will you be reborn into the woman i have waited for? or will you be reborn as the ones i have known: whore, traitor, weak, frail? this is the true test. what you become after you have died is what you truly are to me. i am a being filled with sadness. yet i still move and i still search... i hope i have found a queen. when you die, i will know. Labels: literature, poem L, poetry, Skot lost 1, missing... the continuance of irony in moments of pain. amari aliquid...? 2, here i am... how did i get here? who did i become? you seem so far away now, like a dot of ice in a black pond... your voice faintly calling ..."remember" i am trying "remember,,," please tell me "do not let go of me" i'm holding but... "do not look back, just" you're slipping and i can't "move forward,,," see whats ahead anymore "but do not leave me behind." please... who are you? i can barely remember... it becomes a blur of sex fucked in between such powerful moments of pure joy... pure happiness. "do you know my name?" yes. "will you say it?" i cannot. "why?" you will not let me. "this is only transition" change forgets what it was. i still feel you inside. i can still feel your heart beating, your breath on my neck, your presence. i've fucked up alot since i lost, because i've never been good at passing the time. "who are you?" that's a very good question. i never did answer that... did i? "i know you." thank you. "i remember you." what is my name? "you know the answer." yes, but what does it mean? i know what i am. there was never question. i just do not know where i am going or what i am doing. what am i to do? am i to just be? i've always been. things are so foggy... but i've always loved the fog. remember the fog on the coast int he very early morning? sleeping in a parking lot with the smell of ocean all around us? that was nice. i just wish i could see right now... you. this. will someone please pull this fucking thorn out of my heart? i do not want it to go away. will the blood dry and muscle heal around it? can it be the arm of my heart? you were. are. am. is. 3, i am here, in my hole in my abyss... black and alone... tired. i reflect back on the past several years and realize how much has happened... how much i've lost and how much i've gained. it all started with a ragdoll. and i found my bottom i've been both more full and more empty than i'd ever known before. i went a long way. i move forward but i cannot help but to look back... i will suffer the epic doom of orpheus. "each to his own pain" there is a place inside the self that you reach when you've lost all you can lose... when the pain and anger are all gone, you go there. it is a world i do not know how to describe. 4, change is a constant. chaos is a structure. the continuance of change is a non-changing event. the order of chaos is a random occurence. the only thing holding me back is my self. i've become my own antithesis. i am the hindrance... can i be the liberator? fuck You childhood is over the moment you realize you're going to die, or so they say. Truth is, your youth concludes the moment you realize the end is not immediate. From there, you are left to make your niche in life and move on. I thought I had found my little corner with her and that I was ready to move on. I was sorely wrong and find myself now lost... trying to refind my place. Labels: literature, poem L, poetry, Skot Longing For Home the last thing you will ever see is my face and now i am inside of you... tonight i make my bed in your flesh, cradled by your split ribcage with the tattered flesh of your breast as my pillow, this is my new home. Labels: literature, poem L, poetry, Skot Life In Hollywood scaly scabs and decayed dicks hang on the walls of theaters in earthquake ridden cracked holes of worm shit being eaten by maggots and meal worms with half-eaten scorpion shit dripping from the ceiling of cracked plaster barely holding posters of kids being sodomized by lonely masturbating in shit high school janitors with prosthetic arms, cracked and mildewed by years of fucking themselves in the shower. thats life in hollywood! Labels: literature, poem L, poetry, Skot Jezebel Jinniyah Howling on the desert winds, Hunger pangs for retribution, Against vile Jehu who threw Your sacred form into exile. All you sought was To return the people The wisdom of the earth And traditions of old. You, Jezebel Kristos, were the saviour of your people. Now you dance with Ifrit. Now you writhe for Geni. Now you rage with Shaitan. Now you slink with Ghul. Now you laugh with Marid. Now you are the queen Of all the Jinniyah. Labels: literature, poem J, poetry, Skot invoke Of which name do you speak? What temple will you enter to join your spirit? Ithasmanynames, liege... many names indeed. Of which name do you seek? Will you take your lord in the flesh? Shall she allow passage to your will? Will you take your lord in abstract? Shall it consume you as you swim in formless wonder? The name, if truly spoken, is the gate. Your breath -- the key. I ask once more, lord, Of which name do you speak? Labels: literature, poem I, poetry, Skot i breathe shadow i breathe shadow. i take in the air, free of light and pure. i let my self absorb it, and exhale back to void. i bleed shadow. my being opens itself up to the night and i feel the darkness flow from me; it drips, it does pour. i breathe shadow. i bleed shadow. i swim within it. i am the shadows. Labels: literature, poem I, poetry, Skot Gnosia O', hear me I fast... I abstain and I torture My compulsions and indulgences... having supper in the mouths of lions turning cycles in wheels of stone blood flows from worms of mud shivers fall through sisters of gore pain is feeling thistle in the heart sever the rings suffer the things sought. Labels: literature, poem G, poetry, Skot Foundation Where fire and earth are one, The ancients stir; Where water and wind are one, The ancients crawl. Their hymns are sung In the crack of thunder; Their chants are spoken By the blast of the volcano. From the depths of the sea, They churn and swell. In the hollows of the earth, They turn and roar. Through the heart of the fires, They burn and revel. On the breast of the winds, They yearn and soar. Unseen, they are; Eternal... The foundations on which Our existence is built, They Ancients have been And will be. Labels: literature, poem F, poetry, Skot Fire Fire Girl I The Spark a clue. a spark in the night of mind! a thought, a dream of something that seems- a possibility! a hope in the dawn of thought. but to unmask this concept would be to destroy it's natural flow. the flow of blood in this limb of fate, and to hurt fate is to hurt self, self destruction.-i reject! so i remain silent, quiet as to let fate work it's own. she must think she's the only one, the only one to feel this. but alas, i know it well and i trust fate to someday make it come to pass. this knowledge. this confidence. this hope. it's what keeps my feeling alive for her. it's what kindles the flame inside, preparing it for her fire. Poetisa De Belleza Introduction your beauty is great, beyond what my words could speak. and though i try, my attempt is meager and meek. though i try. familiar with yourself, therefore you're familiar with beauty, perhaps you know these words i seek? Maybe you've seen them before? maybe you've written them before? regardless, this is my attempt at accurately describing beauty. Upon your request, these are a collection of cleverly put together words with the sole purpose of chronicalling my thoughts and feelings of you. I hope it is satisfactory. I A Message To The Semi-known Face ah, how your beauty envelopes my being like a blanket covering me from the winter cold. i don't know if you're the unknown face i don't know if you'll be the right place but, regardless, you are a beautiful soul placed in beautiful flesh placed in an ugly world your inner strength should be enough to take you to me and maybe you are the unknown face and maybe you are the right place are you the moon beside my storm? are you the light in my dark? (my dark light) are you the unknown face? oh, poetisa de belleza, i hope so i hope it is you i hope. II Post-Translation/Pre-Response and these moments are the best and these moments are pure torture it's times like this that bring out the masochist in us shows us this torturous thing we so love the moment when something is revealed just before the time of response when fate is still unsealed and the mind spikes with suspense while the heart pumps hope and the soul floats in ecstacy this immensly beautiful breeze caresses me into serenity and the october leaves fall and rustle and the smells, thoughts, sounds and music all blend into autumn's own happiness i close my eyes for a moment and i feel. III An Examination Of The Subject second half? i won't know until our eyes meet. unknown face? i won't know until our lips meet. but here's what i do know: i see in your craft beauty unmatched. completely arrest my heart and fill it. fill it with your essence and thru it, thru it into my soul. i feel in your voice the longing for someone. pull me into your need when you feel mine. fill it with my essence and with that, with that you are whole. for this is what i experience when i see a painting of your making when i read a poem of your making when i hear your voice speaking to me. this is what i know of you. but these words cannot even begin to describe your inherent beauty. those who do not see it are blind for it is visible. and those who do not feel it are numb for it is there. and i see it and i feel it. and such a chaos lies within you, can i give you peace? and such a calm dwells within me, can you give me chaos? your chaos-swirling, jagged, quivering, exploding deep within the core of you. i could just hold you and feel it. i can hear it in your voice. i can see it in your eyes in the pictures i've gazed. and chaos holds true beauty, and beauty holds true chaos. a free soul-bound only by that which jails you. bound only by that which attacked you as a child. bound but strong-inner strength deep down strong enough to break free of your bondage. flee away-confront and conquer that which held your soul down. break free and be released. (oscuro luna - malo tempestad) (hermoso caos) there is so much i could say but i don't know the words. there is so much i could draw but i can't find the lines. so i will leave you with this: girl, you are one of the most beautiful souls i have ever encountered. if you are el ignoto cara, i am greatly honored, and in pure ecstacy. and if you are not, then i find happiness in having known and knowing such a beautiful soul. IV Reflections Of Your Soul i desire the day we join like a child wanting comfort i want to just curl up inside your soul in a fetal position in your embrace in the darkness in your chaos the feeling is so soothing and warm in my soul i long in my mind i want in my body i feel it in my soul i need overwhelming powerful soothing peaceful ,yet chaotic dark embracing comforting beautiful. V Desire For Confirmation And Some Longing i'll answer your questions i've never been this nervous but i think my search is done and all that's left is time. but that's all there ever is just, now, i know. at least i think i know. i know that if you know than i do. oh how we play this game to ensure we don't get hurt but it is necessary to bide our time until the moment when it can be released until then, it builds and builds, and builds. each day growing stronger i know i have to wait and i think i can. but it helps to know that i'm right. that this isn't a dream. tell me this is real tell me all you feel. but not here, no. in voice this time so i know. so i know my search is done. VI A Barrier Broken and it was then, that the words were spoken and thru this, a barrier is broken. something growing inside has now been acknowledged, and the feeling of relief is a breath of fresh air. and even though i still don't know if she's "the one", i do know that i have fallen for her. and the moment the words were said back, the feeling... i'd almost forgotten what true happiness was like. it's odd, almost how i could feel this way about someone so far away. but when i think about it, it's not strange at all. the only question left -because there's always a question- is what shall come of this? i can only hope for the best. VII Wishing In The Dark you're here with me, caressing my soul. i can feel you with me. i can taste your kiss. you're here in my soul- so far away. but i can feel you, i can feel you so strong. with me, holding me, lying on top of me. we're so still. this moment is so strong. i can feel it so strong. it's like you're really here. and in my soul- you are. and in my heart- you are. and in my mind- i'm wishing. VIII In The Name Of You it's 5:05am and i can't get to sleep all i can think about is you daydreaming at night of us and my hope and the possibilities you are my insomnia beautiful insomnia and the song in my head is right in tune with how i feel at night, all i think about is you these thoughts and wishes of happiness keep me awake until morning nocturnal submission to the euphoria in my head i'm looking at my ceiling laying in bed and what i'm feeling is in the name of you. IX Untitled i could tell you anything anything at all i could tell you my entire life story if it was your wish such a trust invested in you i have everything i know my whole life at your command like an archive just waiting waiting for someone to come along and read (listen) someone desiring to know and then you came i'm a book in your hands my whole life at your command. X Poetess Of Beauty you came unto me from out of nowhere, a twist of fate - random selection (though i seriously doubt there's any randomness whatsoever to fate) and bit-by-bit, one piece at a time, i opened myself to you - showed you me. slowly we got to know each other, guarded at first - but soon open. then, something began to spark in me. a feeling - an attraction began to be. this attraction kept a low profile, from even me, though i was aware of it's existence. then, at the height of an emotional low, it sprung out to grow at the front of my mind. slowly it grew and grew, until it was beyond an attraction. the more i came to know you, the stronger the feeling would become. so perfect. so beautiful. chaos, beautiful chaos. and in the peak of my season of evil, it grew itself a new name: love. so long had it been since i felt it, but the memory always stays fresh. what to do...what to do? oh the risk was so high - to lose a valuable friend. (oh so valuable to my heart you are) i was so scared of losing you, i almost decided not to tell you. but i had to - it was burning a hole in my tongue. and my ever-present (but well hidden) fear of rejection. but you squeezed it out of me... and you already knew! (oh what a clever creature) you know me so well. and better yet, you felt the same. (upon hearing this, happiness was an understatement) and so many hopes and dreams have followed. i plan my life around you. my future has a space reserved for you. i wholly welcome you. but, as usual, questions arrive in my head. things that make me doubt myself. will you come here? would i go there? could you come here? could i go there? but, if this is meant to be, (i hope hope hope) then it shall come to pass for nothing can stop fate. oh how i stay up at night until morning thinking of things. things i want to share with you: the Atlantic Ocean, various hangouts, a Morpheus show, my "extended" families. so many scenarios run thru my head until once again there is light in the sky. i dedicate my daydreams to you. but, even as i write this, i fear you'll think me obsessive. (even though i know you don't) but i cast aside my fears and reservations because you appreciate the same thing i do: pure honesty. ah, so much trust we have. i am so happy when i think of you. when i look at your picture on my wall, i first look at your face perfection to me then i look into your eyes and i always get lost. i get so lost in your eyes. just staring into them, thinking, wishing, longing. an ocean of beauty, did i steal that phrase? no matter, it is fitting. i love to just look into them. i could do it for hours, hitting myself each time i blink. and occasionally i look at your hand and think: "that hand had part in creating the beautiful works of art on my wall", and i smile. but i always go back to your eyes. they're almost like a safe haven for me when my room stops being one. i crave the day when i can look into your eyes in person. that day will be declared a personal holiday by me. would you come here - will you arrive? would you - no...not would... will you? i so much would like you to. could you leave there for here? is it fair to you for me to ask? if it isn't, let me know. is this supposed to be a hopeless feeling? or will this vine bear fruit? the twist of fate that is it's origin lead me to thoughts of a fruitful harvest, but not knowing has always given me fears of the worst. no longer will i let a fear stall me, it's not fair to you. these questions are but short sentences... yet they are backed with strong meanings. the answers... entirely yours. chaos made flesh beautiful soul in a beautiful vessel the breath of your name shivers my soul into serenity peaceful existence spending long moments just looking at your picture i find myself longing i find myself wanting i find myself. such time i dedicate to you (my time is rarely dedicated to someone) such energy, such emotion, such feeling (do i have a limit?) sometimes i scare myself- am i following a ghost? only time will tell i suppose... i lie down and i think think think think i think i think a bit more than i should, makes me worry. you distract me into focus centered on who i am. i want to share with you, punk rock nights and lazy folk days. i want to share with you, snug video nights and warm close days. i want to share with you, everything i am. ah, poetisa de belleza, come come come to me. i'm here and for you my soul waits patiently and loyally. here... my invitation, Poetisa De Belleza... poetess of beauty. Fire Girl II The Flame ah, this flame inside of me burning and burning the spark- -the fire- -the flame. ready for your fire ready for you - hermoso llama ready for you to enter my world -if it's your wish- come come come come and burn my love. Labels: literature, poem F, poetry, Skot Drowning Oblivion i drown in your abyss such a sweet oblivion my every atom absolved into your serene chaos the two pieces fit every last corner and crack and break each individual aspect of our beings fit so perfectly together i am you you are me we are one forevermore and from eternity no matter how we reform the manifestation of fate is inevitable inescapable but why would anyone ever attempt to escape beautiful oblivion? not i... i prefer to drown in you safe warm secure drowining in your seas to forever be the air feeding the fire we must be one we must... tell me that someday we will not maybe someday but that someday is definite becaue i know with every ounce of my being that... this is real. 2 drowning i let myself go to oblivion... drowning deeper i sink letting it all within me breathing in the bliss feeling the comfort that i find in oblivion more and more i drown i dont need to breathe anymore i just feel let myself go to it "i am your breath" you are my breath "just feel that is the end...thats the key" deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper "yeah...slide slowly" further and further until thought is no more and all thats left "is..." is feeling "feeling" 3 pure, true, primal....real. emphasis on real "nothing more" nothing less drowning in each other's abyss... the very heart that pumps the blood mind, body, soul our souls are one someday so shall our bodies be "yes..." and our minds? "someday..do you really think so" yes "when" "i feel like im losing faith" when we're ready there must be something that needs to be done "yeah..but my faith..is dying" please....dont ever give up Labels: literature, poem D, poetry, Skot Drinking Nothingness the beating of your heart drawing out my hunger your flesh fills my mind filling with insane lust i need to drink your wine i can feel you i can taste you your soul feeds my hunger darkness envelops your kiss an abyssous void can you feel this? can you feel bliss? stolen passions and forbidden tastes i desire your nothingness what cannot be or what may pass my heart is raping my mind bleeding one out and breathing you in darkness your veil nothingness your soul. Labels: literature, poem D, poetry, Skot |
